Not enough is said about husbands and partners during the pregnancy process. The unsung hero’s who are in essence outsiders to the entire process.
As women we get an automatic all access pass as we are growing the little bean inside of our bodies, but for our plus ones they can merely stand by and watch the miracle unfold.
I am lucky enough to have a very hands on husband. From cooking meals to doing late night emergency craving runs during my pregnancy, Jon was always there with his quiet demeanor and ability to sense my needs before I had even voiced them.
When we received Luke’s diagnosis he handled it with more dignity, more grace and more maturity than I could have ever imagined. It was through his humor, his strength and his love that the decision to keep our baby was an easy one. We cried together, a lot. But more importantly we laughed, even more.
I have always said that the people who need the support the most during the labour process are our partners. We are feeling every contraction, every needle prick and every tug and pull. They simply have to sit and watch. There is literally nothing that they can do to ease our pain. I can’t even begin to imagine how tough it must be for them.
When Jon became a father however I was not quite prepared for the deepness of the love that I would feel for him all over again.
I have often sat in awe, watching Jon interact with our son, a lump in my throat as the intense love and bond between the two so palpable one could almost touch it. I have often over heard the two of them chatting away, Luke in his baby gurgling and Jon with his quiet words of wisdom. If you want to fall in love with your partner all over again, watch him or her interacting with your child, it’s quite breath taking.
Becoming a parent can be a make or break moment for any relationship. The sleepless nights coupled with the process of elimination during those early days mean that even the most rock solid relationship is tested. I will never forget Jon doing the early morning feed and letting me sleep in, or taking Luke on an outing so that I could have an afternoon nap. Tiny acts of kindness and concern that filled my heart with gratitude.
Those wedding vows that we took in front of our family and friends have taken on a whole new meaning.
Luckily for us, this entire process has been an incredibly strengthening one. I have never felt closer to Jon, I have never been more in love with him and I have never been more grateful for his quiet way. I will be eternally grateful to Luke for this. He has taught me to love my husband more deeply, with more patience and with my whole heart.